An Urban Legend?

Urban Legend? How can I tell?

You be the judge.

>PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE WOMEN YOU CARE FOR:
MOTHERS, SISTERS,
>DAUGHTERS, AUNTS, NIECES,

You forgot co-workers, and...

>CO-WORKERS, FRIENDS, ETC

Oh. Never mind.

>.................better
>safe than sorry!
>
>The following was posted a few days ago to sales
associates at a metro area
>J.C. Penney store by their supervisor:

And who could ever doubt *THEIR* reliability?

>Reports have been coming in about several new scams to abduct women.

Which are far superior in every way to those same tired *OLD* scams to abduct women we've all encountered so often.

>In one, a man comes up to a woman in a mall or
shopping center and asks if
>she likes pizza.

And she pauses to answer this total stranger asking a stupid question in "a mall or shopping center." (What's the difference between a mall and a shopping center? Just a question for the Department of Redundancy Department.)

>When she says she does, he offers
>her $10000 to shoot a commercial for pizza,

Luckily, women don't know that they use *professional actresses* for commercials these days. Anyway, who could resist an easy ten thousand dollars--without even signing a contract yet? I mean, who'd ask to see the money?

>but they need to go outside
>where the lighting is better.

I bet I know what would happen to me if *I* approached a woman in a mall and told her I'd give her ten grand if she'd just come outside with me "where the light is better."

>When the woman goes out
>of the mall she is abducted and assaulted.

And she doesn't get the ten grand, either.

>Another ploy is a very nicely dressed man asks a
woman if she would be in a
>Public Service announcement to discourage drug use.

A "ploy" is a special kind of nicely dressed man they have in France. You can spot them because of the way their subject and verbs doesn't agree and their sentences run on to long and they Capitalize Public Service when they talk or right.

>The man explains that
>they don't want professional actors or celebrities;
they want the average
>mother to do this.

After all, many more teens will listen to an average mother than to celebrities or actors. Why, ask any average mother; she'll tell you the same thing.

>Once she leaves the mall she is a victim.

Ah--but aren't we *ALL* victims of one kind or another? Victims of Life?

>The third ploy, and the most successful, is when a
very frantic man comes
>running in to the mall and asks a woman to please
help him, his baby is not
>breathing. She runs out of the mall, following him,

...not pausing to wonder why he left his child in the parking lot. Or why he didn't call 911 on his cell phone. Or why he didn't yell for help at the top of his voice. Or why he approached her specifically.

>and she becomes a
>victim.

This is getting repetitive.

>These have been happening in well-lit parking areas
in daylight as well as
>night time all over the country.

Parking areas are usually well-lit in the daytime. And, with the amazing invention of electric light, they often are at night time, as well. And to think they have electric light all over the country! Sakes alive--the times we live in.

>The abductor usually uses a van to abduct
>the women.

I would've thought he'd use his hands, or maybe a gun. But I suppose threatening to drive a van over someone would be pretty intimidating.

>One television program set up a test in a mall and 10
out of 15 women went
>out of the mall on the pizza and the PSA scam. All of
them went out of the
>mall on the baby scam.

You can buy copies of the video on that same cable channel that sells that "Bloopers and Practical Jokes from Japan and Belgium" tape at 3 a.m. The one that's on right after the Richard Simmons exercise video.

>One other true-life incident which occurred is VERY SCAREY:

It's even scarier than people who spell "scary" with an "e."

>A woman was
>shopping at the Tuttle Mall in Columbus.

*GASP* THAT'S A REAL PLACE!! Then...IT MUST ALL BE TRUE!!

>She came out to her car and saw she had a flat.

Luckily there was a Victoria's Secret in the mall, so that wouldn't be a problem.

>She got her jack and spare out of the trunk. A man in
a
>business suit came up and started to help her.

And she let him. Oh, Frail Womanhood! Chivalry is not dead! (Though to be fair, the story makes no mention of the guy hitting on her as he works on her car. Maybe she figures he's gay.)

You gotta love those guys who'll change tires in full business suits. I've heard Sears' Automotive department has been trying to spruce up their image...

>When the tire had been
>replaced, he asked for a ride to his car on the
opposite side of the mall.
>Feeling uncomfortable about doing this,

Good thing she didn't feel uncomfortable about allowing a total stranger in a business suit to change her tire.

>she stalled for awhile, but he kept
>pressing her.

Where, the story doesn't say.

>She finally asked why he was on this side of the mall
if his
>car was on the other.

If I could get this much conversation out of a woman I just met at the mall, I wouldn't still be single.

>He claimed he had been talking to friends. Still
>uncomfortable, she told him that she had just
remembered something she had
>forgotten to pick up at the mall and she left him and
went back inside the
>mall.

At last, a realistic detail! I've had many a woman tell me, "Oh, I just remembered something I forgot!" and walk away from me.

>She reported the incident to the mall
>security and they went out to her car. The man was
nowhere in sight.
>Opening her trunk, she discovered a briefcase he had
set inside her trunk
>while helping her with the tire. Inside were rope and
a butcher knife.

Pretty clever of that guy, putting the knife in the trunk like that. Like, if she *DID* drive him back to his van, then all he'd have to do is say, "I left my suitcase with my knife in it in your trunk. Could you please open it for me so I can use it to abduct you?" And the rope, too. Man, he was all set.

Anyone else would leave the rope in the van, so he could tie the woman up once he's forced her inside unobtrusively. But not this guy! No, he's gonna tie her up in the (well-lit) parking lot in plain view--while simultaneously holding a knife on her. Hmmm. This guy must have SOMETHING going for him...like a third hand, maybe?

At least he wasn't stupid enough to leave the weapons behind when he ran away...oh. Oops.

>And, when she took the tire to be fixed, the mechanic
informed her that
>there was nothing wrong with her tire, but that it
was flat because the air
>had been let out of it.

"And there, on the handle--was a HOOK!!"?

Good guess on the abductor's part, too. He's pretty lucky, letting the air out of the tires on a car picked at random, then finding out it just happens to belong to a single woman who went shopping alone.

>Another trick an attacker may try, especially on a
woman they note is not
>wearing a wedding band or that they have determined
through conversation is
>single

...and who miraculously somehow doesn't mention her boyfriend in the first sentence she utters after they determine she's single...

>is actually hiding IN your car trunk themselves, and
if you have
>underground parking or an attached garage, they then
have easy access to
>your home as well.

They could be in your closet! They could be in your refrigerator!! THEY COULD BE IN YOUR BED WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!

****NOWHERE IS SAFE!!!!!!!****
> So BE AWARE!!

And beware. Not the same thing as being aware, apparently.

>PLEASE BE SAFE AND NOT SORRY! JUST A WARNING TO
ALWAYS BE ALERT AND USE YOUR
>HEAD!!!

Beat it against the wall after you read stories like this.

>Never let your guard down.

Protect yourself from urban legends.