During the summer, I always find myself with extra time on my hands, so I decided to drag out all my old "Groo the Wanderer" comic books and read through them. For the uninformed, Groo was a comic written by Sergio AragonÈs (who may be more well known for his work with MAD Magazine) that followed the adventures of the warrior named Groo, the "master of frays" who was particularly muscular and muscle-headed. Most of the time Groo would err and sink a ship or destroy a town or find some other way to piss everyone off. Sometimes Groo would err and do everything right. Whatever the case, one would always find themselves having had 22 pages of laughs and feeling pretty good about things.

Reading through my Groo books, I looked at my other small collections of comic books and began to wonder why I no longer read comics. I decided that with the ass of work I had found myself doing in high school, I had simply got sidetracked. So I set out to the comic book store to see what was going on in the world of comics, pick up a few comics, and perhaps fill out my Groo collection in the process.

After perhaps an hour of perusing the shelves, I discovered that my beloved Groo was no longer published and I purchased an Azrael comic book, a promising-looking series about a computer scientist who as a kid was hypnotically trained to be an assassin for a cult. And though I was somewhat excited to be re-entering the world of comics, I was also beset by doubts and anxieties that left me feeling like I should put my Groos back on the shelf and sit back down in front of my computer games.

The "-Verse" Epidemic

A popular trend among comic companies, and this isn't a new one, is the idea that all superheroes exist in the same "universe," and sometimes even live next door to each other. This is fine and dandy, except when the fabric of reality is once again threatened by some mega-powerful being from beyond the stars. Then you find yourself having to purchase 10 other comic books for 2 or 3 months to get the whole story. And while this is exciting every once in a while, its gets annoying when every couple of issues you discover that you have to buy a slew of other comics.

This is even more annoying for a newcomer. I think everybody likes to ease into something new, even if it is just buying a two-dollar comic. But when a person meanders into a store and discovers that they have to buy half the titles on the shelf just to get part of a story, I think that they will be more inclined to walk next door and plunk their eight dollars down for the latest movie.

Reheatable Villains

Heroes are often defined by their archenemies, and we all eagerly await their latest schemes to turn our hero into paste. These rivalries are often marked by increasingly close calls for the hero and may climax to a point where the villain finally bites it for good. But I've seen this handy trick fall gasping to the floor more than I've seen it create memorable and defining moments in heroes' careers.

First of all, when a villain dies, I think he (or she) should be pretty much, well, dead. Worm-food in the ground (or whatever dimension the villain may have bought it). No more ink and coloring should be wasted on this character.

Along similar lines, I don't think the megalomaniacal desire to conquer all of existence is a defining family trait. Let's honor the memory of great, fallen villains and not have their siblings or offspring dig up their grave and steal the costume off their back. If this alone isn't a compelling argument, think about how dumb "Son of Mr. Sinister" or "Mr. Sinister 2" sounds. Most of all, the reappearance of a classic villain should not be an excuse to re-open a 20-year old plot line. I have no desire to shell out $200 in back issues so I can really find out what's going on.

Part of the allure of comic books is their creativity, not just in their art, but also in their stories. The readers should be treated to something new every month, not a rehash of past episodes. The challenge to writers is to breathe new life into old characters, and come up with new, even deadlier ones. As the times change, so should our heroes. I don't think new readers want to be told that they need to go look back 100 issues or so to get the "whole" story. No one likes the impression that they missed the real excitement and that they are now only reading about the aftermath.

Multiple Personality Disorders

Perhaps the most annoying feature of popular heroes is the trend to create a handful of spin-off books. Not only is this an obvious money-grabbing scheme, but does the addition of another comic book really add that much to a character? Really, how much can a hero do in one month? I'm curious to know how someone can defeat the latest rampaging villain in New York and, at the same time, battle mutant slime-creatures in the snowdrifts of the Arctic. When someone has to come up with five different stories for the same character in one month, is it any surprise that we see a lack of creative story telling?

Combined with the numerous crossovers and continuations and dangling plot lines, it becomes nearly impossible to nonchalantly pick up a new comic book and dive right into the story. I know there have been several times when I have been interested in a certain superhero, but after flipping through four or five books and looking to see where the story continues next, I give up.

Cease thy Rambling

I think all these issues point towards a single underlying problem with comics these days: the dependence on an already-established audience. Looking at the comics today, I feel like the stories are directed at someone who's been reading them for years and not to the casual reader looking to pick up one or two comics every month. Certainly there should be something for the die-hard fans, but is it healthy to create a stagnant fan populace? What about the person who would like to buy three or four books of different heroes rather than three or four of one? How many would-be collectors have been turned away by the sheer volume of "X"-books or "Spider"-books starring them in the face?

Buying independent is a partial solution; most "independent" superheroes usually star in only one book. Of course, there's nothing preventing them from borrowing the same tactics for their popular superheroes. And let's face it, the classics heroes have been around for decades for a reason: we love them. There's no real substitute for Spider-Man or Superman or the Joker or the Hobgoblin.

But their golden days are gone, tarnished to an unsightly green. Let's hope someone will be able to polish them up once again.