Ben Folds Five - Naked Baby Photos

Lemme tell all of you exactly what's wrong with the music industry today. The problem is that the charts are filled with spoiled brats. I call it the Curse of Billy Corgan. Here's a guy who could quite possibly be the most talented musician of his generation, but he squanders all of his gifts by whining way too much. Hey, Billy! You wanna know why you feel like an outsider? Maybe it's because you're 6'5," voluntarily bald, and wear T-shirts with "ZERO" printed across them in big letters. Yeah, I know this joint comes out of Corgan's backyard of Chicago. That's why I'm writing this, in the hopes that he'll read it and it'll knock some sense into that Astrodome-like head of his. I listen to his songs and read his interviews, and I'm reminded of Frank Sinatra's open letter to George Michael, where he told him to "lighten up and swing, baby," or Peter Buck's comments about Jackson Browne (and I paraphrase): "He's young, rich, and handsome. Why doesn't he just shut the fuck up?!"

That's why Ben Folds Five is a breath of fresh air. They're the only band out there (with the exception of the Spice Girls) who sound like they're actually having FUN, thrilled by not having to work some crummy day job or play in an orchestra pit off-Broadway (which Ben has done). This sense of joy permeates even their most introspective ballads, and makes their uptempo numbers even better. They still sound like spoiled brats, but they know that, and they're proud of it. Nobody has made angst sound like this much fun since the Replacements.

All of this is highly evident on their new, and aptly named, Caroline Records release, "Naked Baby Photos." The disc is a look back at the first steps of the band. And like those pictures of you in your parents' photo albums, it's fun, completely lacking in pretension, a bit embarrassing, but something you might not want to show your new girlfriend. It is comprised of B-sides, live cuts, and outtakes from the days before "Brick" became a hit single. But for an album released as a cash cow by their old label, it's pretty damn good.

The best tracks on the album are the live versions of songs featured on their self-titled first album. "Julianne" begins with the first verse performed bossa nova style before crashing into the rest of the song. The performance of the song, which tells the tale of a guy who sleeps with "a girl who looks like Axl Rose" in order to get over his old girlfriend, takes on manic proportions as all three members of the band seemingly try to play faster than the others. "Philosophy" is here, complete with the quote from Gershwin's "Rhapsody In Blue" found on the original. The gorgeous "Alice Childress," taken from their first radio broadcast, has a transcendent moment as the band holds onto the verse until the last possible second before hitting the final chorus. And the stellar version of "Underground," whose rhythmic shifts alone would baffle the rhythm sections of countless alterna-blands, features what is probably the highlight of the disc. After the faux-dramatic opening chord is struck and drummer Darren Jessee declares, "I was never cool in school/I'm sure you don't remember me," a heckler in the crowd shouts out "Who the fuck are you?" You can then hear the rest of the band trying to hold in their laughter as they make their way through the opening. If that had happened at a Smashing Pumpkins concert, Corgan probably would have lectured the crowd about etiquette and then stormed off the stage in a tantrum.

There are a few other surprises as well to be found. There is a live cover of a Built To Spill song called "Twin Falls," which I had never heard before. It's a rather moving look back at a grade school crush. "Eddie Walker," which, according to Ben Folds' liner notes, was the first song where the chemistry of the trio became evident, is the sort of poignant character study with which the band have become synonymous.

But not every cut is a treasure, however. Anybody who has ever seen them in concert knows that the band have a habit of making up songs right then and there. "Naked Baby Photos" presents two of them, the quasi-metal "The Ultimate Sacrifice" and "Satan Is My Master." Unfortunately, the songs are of the you-had-to-be-there variety, as the jokes don't translate very well off stage. Also, the original 7" version of "Jackson Cannery," which got them signed to Caroline, is much stiffer than the rendition which kicks off their debut album.

As much as I love this record, I have to say that I can't truly recommend it to everybody out there, only to those of you who already have their first two albums, because it's not meant to initiate newcomers to the flock. So if you haven't heard these guys yet, go out and buy them. Today. Now. Turn off your computer, grab your wallet and coat, and head to the nearest record shop. Going to an on-line retailer doesn't count because you have to wait a few days before it gets to you. Besides, the fresh air will do you good, as your mother used to say. After you've realized, as I have, that Ben Folds Five are quite simply the best band in America, then you can go out and buy "Naked Baby Photos."