Hanson - 3 Car Garage

Looks like Hanson's fifteen minutes are just about up.

It's a bit of a shame, really. Those tykes haven't even had the chance to launch a full-scale tour yet, and Taylor's voice goes a-changin' on 'em. It's too bad they can't pull a Peter Brady and record a wacky voice-cracking single, but it's been done. Instead, they must struggle through their final death throttles, Taylor doing his best to make the classic Hanson tunes work as his vocals do what puberty will do to a young man's voice.

Ya kinda get the feeling that the good people at Mercury Records can sense the Hanson brothers' moment waning, too. It would explain the summer tour, the upcoming VH1 "Storytellers" special (what the hell kind of stories can they have to tell about their SONGWRITING?! Maybe we'll finally discover exactly what "MMMBop" means), and the blonde bombshells' latest record, "3 Car Garage: The Indie Recordings." It's an ugly little mishmash of tunes recorded for Hanson's indie releases of the mid-nineties, before they were signed to Mercury. Also, it's a waste of fifteen bucks.

If you're a fan of Hanson, there's probably no good reason to enjoy "3 Car Garage," because so little of what makes them fun and refreshing is present on these early tapes. The songs are too slow, the playing is uninspired, and the vocals plod like a sick horse. This is primarily because the oldest brother, Isaac, dominated lead vocal duties in the band's early days. "3 Car" makes it clear that the smartest move Hanson made in moving to the majors was to drop Isaac on lead vocals, and bump Taylor up to the main mike. Isaac's vocals lack any of the instinctive energy and nuance that Taylor's work on "Middle of Nowhere" possesses. At times, Taylor sounds like a young Michael Jackson; Isaac maybe sounds like Tito or Jermaine once in a while. Most of the time, Isaac sounds just like that quiet kid with long hair down the block who's REALLY into starting a band, but lacks the enthusiasm or vocal talent to front a band. He tries way too hard, it shows big-time, and most of the songs fail because of it.

The production also sucks. Everything sounds too low-budget for the cute bundles of pop talent that are Hanson. It's all hazy and low-fi and sheenless. As sad as it sounds, Hanson's excellent debut record is held together by its tight, polished, utterly mainstream and edgeless production. Imagine the version of "MMMBop" that was once omnipresent on top forty radio...then imagine it slowed down considerably, and with a very low-budget production style. YUCK, right? Right.

If nothing else, "3 Car Garage" demonstrates that the brothers Hanson possess considerable talent as musicians and singers. It's proof that their records are not engineered or manufactured in any New Kids/Milli Vanilli trickery. When you see Hanson live on TV or in person, they may have several grown-up backing musicians helping out, but they're also contributing their own instruments to the mix. No Partridge Family pantomime for these boys. "3 Car Garage" proves that Hanson has some legitimacy as rock artists. It also proves that sometimes, the past is best left in the past.

As the clock ticks on these three preteen heartthrobs, what will be next for Hanson? Hopefully, no more peeks into their "early days." "3 Car Garage" should have stayed hidden behind the oil cans and dirty rags where it belongs. It's a lackluster collection of best-forgotten "nuggets" from a band that's barely old enough to have a past, let alone exploit one. I'm as psyched as the next guy for a new Hanson record, but PLEASE give me some sheen, some boundless energy, and some infectious hooks, before these guys start growing armpit hair. It's the least you folks at Mercury Records can do, after foisting this crap upon us.