Mission: Impossible 2

Hola, film fanz!!!! Did U miss me???? I'm sure U did!!!

I've been busy and blessed. Busy becauze my life is so exciting and kewl, and blessed thanks 2 Tom Cruise and John Woo!!!!!

What do I speak of, you ask? Why, Mission: Impossible 2 of course!

What is in the water in Los Angeles? Is there some kinda megaultrakewlvirus stalking all the people in Hollywood and making them do extra superkewl things with their moviez??!!! It sure seems that way!!! Maybe Lucasgod and his godz at ILM constructed some supernanite scheme to infect da movie world with KEWLNESS! PURE, unadulterated KEWLNESS!! Because THAT'S what Mission: Impossible 2 IS!!!!!

I don't even know where to begin with this movie's kewlness. The day I saw it, I woke up and I played for two hours with myself. NOT THAT WAY, U PERVERTZ!!!! I played action figures with my Phantom Menace and Austin Powers figs!!!! Some people think I'm 2 old 2 B playing with me figures...they leave them unopened in their rooms and never play with them and think I'm a big loser who can't get girlfriends. WWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! ME WANT GIRLFWIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I love 2 play with figures!!!! It's so kewl becauze you can use yer imagination 2 create new episodes in da sagaz!!! Like on the day I saw dat kewl genius god movie from Tom Cruise and John Woo, Mission: Impossible 2, I made a Star Wars movie where Queen Hottie Amidala made a special bed in da starz for her and Anakin Skywalker, and they went there and they made sweeeet luuuuuuuv in it, and then Darth Maul came over and he tried 2 kill them, but Austin Powerz saved them all with his mojo!!!!! And then Godzilla came over and stomped on them all!!!!! STOMP STOMP STOMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then after I played with my figs, I made myself some eggs, like twelve and then I ate them and I watched the first Mission: Impossible on DVD three times in a row, 2 get ready 4 da big movie of da day!!! At 2 p.m. when da first show of da day was about 2 start, me and Papa Kewl hopped into da Kewlmobile and drove to da Merriville, IN mall right by our house in Gary and we bought popcorn and JuJu Beads and Milk Duds and nachos and pop, and then I had 2 go pee so I left 2 go pee, and then I went in and found Papa Geek in a seat waiting for me, but I didn't like da seatz he picked so I said we should move, and he said okay, so we moved up a few rows and then the trailers came and then da movie.

This movie is so KEWL. I wrote down me thoughts during da movie on my arm, and I wiped my face a few times with it when I was eating the nacho cheeze, so some of my ideas are smeared but I can read them okay. Kewl.

Thandie Newton is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!!! she is a superkewl ultrababe starlady who can steal anything in da world. There is a scene in da movie where she straddles Tom Cruise and I wished I could be Tom Cruise's pants for that scene, because they were so close to her body!!! Or wait--even better, I would be Thandie's hot dress, or Thandie's widdle piddle thong underwear!!!! Me get hot 2 just think about it!!!!!!

Also kewl? Da action. OHHHHHHHHH KEWL ACTION SCENES!!!!!!!!! Like when Tom Cruise was on a motorcycle, and then he leaned over the side of it and used it as a shield while he was going like 2000 miles per hour 2 keep Dougray Scott (is he not uberkewl as a bad man???? WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! ME WANNA SEE DOUGRAY SCOTT AS WOLVERINE!!!!!!!) from shooting him with his bullets in his gun. That was SOOOO KEWL. Da master Action Lord John Woo really knows how 2 direct an action scene, and who even cares if it's plausible, what the heck does plausible even really mean becauze if it looks kewl, then it is KEWL, amen to KEWL and all dat scat!!!!!!

Well, me da is calling me 4 dinz, so I will go to him. But listen 2 me: if U do not see Mission: Impossible 2 as soon as (im)possible, then U are a lying sack of poop who deserves to be roasted in movie hell along with all da bad actors from dat crap movie Steel Magnolias!!! True dat!!!!