First off, a big warning to you fellow perverts out there in cyberspace: the much anticipated Gwyneth Paltrow nudity and sexual content in "Great Expectations" is non-existant. That's right, fuck fans. There is NO good nudity or sex in the movie, and only a few moments of erotic tension, none of which you'd miss if you stayed at home and watched the commercial a few times. So if you're planning on seeing "Great Expectations" solely based on the promise of seeing all of Gwyneth Paltrow as made by the commercials, don't bother.

Other than the lack of nudity and sex, "Great Expectations" is a decent film, a wannabe indie picture developed by a time-tested producer and released by 20th Century Fox. More and more, the standard "indie film" aesthetic is becoming common creative parlance for the mainstream studios as well. Creative camera work, tortured romance, and eccentric supporting roles are all part of the formula, and Fox has learned it well, adapting the Charles Dickens novel into an entertaining hybrid of the recent "Romeo & Juliet" remake and "The English Patient."

Teen heartthrob Ethan Hawke stars as tortured artist Finnegan Bell, who meets the love of his life when he accompanies his surrogate father to do some gardening work for insane widow Ms. Dinsmoor (Anne Bancroft). This love is Dinsmoor's young niece Estella (Paltrow), who gives Finnegan about ten minutes of heated foreplay before leaving without a word of explanation and heading to Europe for boarding school. Still, Finnegan obsesses over her, until he encounters her again in New York while he prepares for his first show in an art gallery, sponsored by some mysterious patron. Estella is engaged to be married, but that doesn't keep Finnegan from getting her naked for some "portraits" and whisking her away from her fiance one night for some passionate love-making. Yeah, so Estella ends up marrying some rich prick and Finnegan goes to Europe. They still get together at the end, years later, and hold hands and stuff! It's all very happy! Trust me!

The whole package is clearly cooked up to hook teenage fans of Hawke and Paltrow, delivering the kind of melodrama and pseudosmut that makes for great Friday night high-schooler movie fare. But a sharp script and some tremendous acting elevates this film somewhat beyond its teen angst-o-rama status. Bancroft is tremendous in her role as the mad woman Dinsmoor, showing an amazing range in her momentary shifts from quiet lucidity to flamboyant madness. De Niro also delivers his usually powerful supporting work as a prisoner who Finnegan aids in his youth and who returns to his life at his moment of greatest success.

For all the great supporting work, this movie succeeds or fails on the chemistry generated between Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow. The two each do a fantastic job in their respective roles. Paltrow has her cold fragility down pat as she glides in and out of Finnegan's life with the potency of a human atom bomb. She treats her sexuality and attraction to Finnegan as no more than a tool, and this fascinates him to the point of near insanity. Hawke brings a great befuddlement to his early scenes as Finnegan Bell, developing that slowly over the film into a more savvy characterization without losing any emotional intensity in the process. When Hawke's passion for Estella meets Paltrow's cold detachment, powerful sparks fly.

Considering this, perhaps it's for the best that there is no quality nudity or sex in "Great Expectations." The tension between Hawke and Paltrow is so potent that any sex scene would pale in comparison. Still, a little T & A never hurt this reviewer's opinions on a film. "Great Expectations" succeeds through great performances and writing, but if you go in with hopes for Paltrow nudity, you may as well stay at home and rent some pornography. And while you're out renting the porn, buy a dog and call it "Life." Then you'll have one.