July 31, 1999

Notes from the radio dialÉ

"Summer Girls": Here's a quote from this gem: "I told you that my name wasRich / I like a girl who wears Abercrombie & Fitch." I didn't know snobbyupper-class white kids needed a voice in hip-hop, but I bet they're gladthey've found one. "No more of listening to blacks whine and moan about howtough their lives are," they're thinkin'. "Who needs their legitimate angstwhen we can celebrate OUR culture, OUR lifestyle? I can identify with guyswho like Abercrombie & Fitch! I like Abercrombie & Fitch! These are MYpeople!"

"Screaming Skin": Blondie is back again, making some of the most worthlessmusic of its career. You have not known audio pain until you've heard DebbieHarry growl, "Don't call me germ." It's a thick messy soup of ska guitar,pounding organ and gangly drums.

"Tarzan & Jane": Another weird-ass slice of pop, this one's a techno song inthe style of Aqua's classic track "Barbie Girl." In fact, when I heard it Icould have sworn that this was Aqua's big comeback tune. But it's not; it'sby another foreign band called Toy-Box. In the video, there's this slimy guyin moccasin underwear who humps inadequate objects (because that's what allsavages must do, hump things) while a sickeningly cute female singer poutsand whines that he doesn't pay attention to her. And that's all I've got tosay about that.