A few months ago, the telegrams and phone calls started pouring in. At first, it was just one or two a day, but then the numbers got up there. For the past week, we've been nearly paralyzed by anniversary greetings and well-wishers. Movie stars, pop phenoms, heads of state and infamous criminals have beaten down the door and clogged up the phone lines with messages of congratulation and salutes to the cultural institution that we have come to know as Pop- Culture-Corn. Here's some of our favorite messages. Thanks to all who cared enough to drop us a line! And Ms. McCarthy, we really don't need any more nude photos of you, but we appreciate the thought...

"Ms. Lewinsky is not making statements to the press at this time, but she did want me to pass along her congratulations to the staff of Pop-Culture-Corn on 100 years of publication. She also wanted me to tell you that she finds Pop-Culture-Corn to be 'as bubbalicious as a President's pee- pee,' but the Independent Counsel is encouraged to disregard this statement in preparing his case against my client." --William Ginsburg, attorney to Monica Lewinsky

"Pop-Culture-Corn. . .SIT ON IT!" --Henry "The Fonz" Winkler

"If I had any talent or worth as a human being whatsoever, maybe I'd be IN Pop-Culture-Corn. But I still love to read it. Congrats!" --Carrot Top, prop comic

"My daddy always told me that there was no better foreplay than reading Pop-Culture-Corn, and as I've grown older I have to say I agree. Thanks for some hot nights!" --John F. Kennedy, Jr., publisher

"Pop WHAT?! I've never heard of that crap. I don't have time for this. Who let him in this restaurant? I'm trying to take a leak here!" --Walter Matthau, actor

"We can't read, because we were home-schooled. But when we're on tour and we get bored waiting for the band to finish their soundchecks so that we can eat our Chicken McNugget Happy Meals, we love to look at the pictures in Pop-Culture-Corn! 'Mmmbop!'" --Hanson, pre-teen idols

"I just know the staff at Pop-Culture-Corn are Marvel maniacs of the highest order, so I'm sending out a brand-spankin' new, high-fallutin' No-Prize to PCC for 100 years of great comics writing! Excelsior!" --Stan Lee, spiritual ambassador of Marvel Comics

"What can I say? I CAN'T GET ENOUGH! It's INSANE! It's so FUNNY, and TOPICAL, and I LOVE IT! I'm going INSANE!" --Regis Philbin, talk show host

"The truth is out there, and so is Pop-Culture-Corn. Congratulations on 100 years of surviving the military-industrial complex's conspiracy to eliminate freedom in the popular press! Go see the X- Files movie!" --Chris Carter, TV whore

"Pop-Culture-Corn is pretty funny. So is being married to your stepdaughter who's more than thirty years younger than you are." --Woody Allen, filmmaker

"I just can't get enough of Pop-Culture-Corn. It's amazing stuff. Can I write for you? Will you pay me? The comics work isn't cutting it anymore, and I haven't had a CD-ROM offer in months." --Mark Hamill, actor

"What's the deal with this Pop-Culture-Corn, anyway? It's pop culture, but it's also popCORN. It's like, poppy culture corn, with butter. I don't know about that." --Jerry Seinfeld, comedian

"Pop-Culture-Corn. No, I can't say as I've heard of them. . .but I still wish them luck and I'm very glad they've been doing their thing for 100 years! Very nice work!" --Julie Andrews, actress

"Uh. . .yeah, I like Pop-Culture-Corn." --Bob Dylan, cultural icon

"PCC? I LOVE PCC! You guys are AWESOME! WEEZIE! Say somethin' nice about PCC! You're the best!" --Sherman Hemsley, actor

"We love PCC! Girl power! See our movie! Um. . .Girl power! We love PCC! See our movie! Um. . .See our movie! Girl power! We love PCC!" --the Spice Girls, pop superstars

"Pop-Culture-Corn can suck me off. I love that shit. It's great stuff. I read it while I bang my wife." --Howard Stern, radio personality

"Pop-Culture-Corn? This is some kind of magazine or something? No, I have nothing to say to them, sorry. Call my agent." --Jerry Lewis, famous funnyman