Bravo, John Larroquette, to dare to do something that no one in their right mind would do--trying to duplicate the comedic persona that is John Cleese, Monty Python trouper extraordinaire. No knock on Mr. Larroquette (who's coming off his best role, an award-winning tour-de-force guest appearance as a gay egotist client on The Practice)--but what the hell were you thinking?

If you haven't had a chance to view any of the 12 episodes of the original Fawlty Towers, which aired for BBC in two non-consecutive seasons in the 1970s, your life is lacking a lot of laughter.

The series upon which the CBS mid-season replacement Payne is based--well, it was simply a masterpiece in television entertainment. Payne is already considered by CBS as a Picasso, especially compared to the putrid Ted Danson vehicles Ink and Becker. But for any other network, it would be kindergarten fingerpaint.

You can see where the scriptwriters and Larroquette are trying to go with an episode, by keeping the concept of crazy hotel misunderstandings and husband antics. But what made Cleese and Basil Fawlty so brilliant was the visual fun, steered by Cleese's physical comedy genius. Although Larroquette has the snide-comment jerkability down as Royal Payne, he lacks the wacky bodily and facial expressions. Cleese also had the inaudible/meant-to-be-audible aside down pat, which is missing from Mr. Payne.

JoBeth Williams plays Connie, Royal's wife. Her personality doesn't seem consistent with what Prunella Scales brought to the role. Connie is almost too warm; you can see how she and Royal actually could've been married. With the Fawltys, it's always hate-hate, Basil only did things for their marriage to save his own repuation.

Julie Benz plays the attractive hotel assistant, reprising Connie Booth's (co-creator of Fawlty and ex-wife of Cleese) character of Polly. Polly was more involved with Basil's hijinx and had an appealing mean streak that would subtly come out of her. It's reduced to mild sarcasm in Payne.

The Spanish bellboy Manuel (Andrew Sachs) stole many scenes on Fawlty--he also had a distinct personality, and much of his stupidity was summed up by "Oh, you see, he's from Barcelona."

Mo, Payne's foreign foil, acts silly, but you don't really get to know why--except there had to be a Manuel in the new version. Once again, Sachs was gifted physically and facially -- you could tell what a dim bulb he was by his unkempt hair and the blank, sometimes boyish looks he gave.

This is how great the Fawlty legend is -- they make a poor copy and it is still better than most half-hour sitcoms. It'll probably be sustained by an audience who's not been fortunate enough to see some of Cleese and the gang in action.

But for me, who cherishes every minute of the old show, I can't bear to watch much of Payne. Come on, if there was some director who thought he could re-make Hitchcock, that would suck too, right?

Luckily for Cleese fans, episodes of Fawlty and Monty Python are circulated for late-night viewing over many American PBS stations. He's also set to play an innkeeper-type role in another motion picture re-make, The Out-of-Towners, alongside Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn.

Get your hands on some of the Fawlty collection and save it -- watch it in Payne's time slot -- you'll be a lot happier for it.