Part 2

Okay, now that you look hotter than a Mississippi summer, you're ready to show yourself off to the rest of the world, or at least the corner of it that you've decided to bless with your presence tonight. The entrance you make is one of the most important parts of the night - you can't trip over the doorstep or be a drunken puddle right from the get-go. So get your hot little ass over to the party/bar of choice and then stop. Scope out the place. Glance in the windows to see the scene so you have an idea of what's going on in there. Don't be a voyeur and certainly don't get caught doing this. Jeez, as if you don't have enough to worry about. So just slow down as you walk by, look in the windows, see if there's a line outside the door, if there are people clustered on the front porch (if a house is your destination), and so on. Check the mood - can you hear the party from outside? Is there music thumping from the windows? Is it the Spice Girls? Go home if it is; you want no part of that mess.

You've checked out the outside. Now, go up to the door with your friend(s) and take a couple of affirming breaths--remember, you own this night. Now it's time: go on in. Step inside like you're the guest of honor, even if you're crashing the place or you don't know the bartender. If your friends are accomodating, hand off your coat to them, or even better leave it in the car or at home. Don't leave your coat if it's 30 below; be cool but not an idiot. Head for the bar and your first beer. Once you have it (always buy the first beer yourself, girls) go find a good vantage point so that you can just stand and observe for a little while. Light a cigarette if you smoke. Now check out the crowd a little more closely.

What's it look like? Are they dancing? Are there a bunch of couples there already? Hopefully, this is not the case, since that could be a sign that either 1. hookups are already happening and the best are being snapped up, or 2. the crowd is mostly made up of couples and their friends and anonymity is going to be less likely. Are there lots of lights on or is it shadowy? Is it darker than your grandma's basement and you have to feel your way to the door? You're not looking at individual people yet really, but if someone catches your eye right off don't ignore that. Finish your beer and toss the cup or put it back on the bar. Get another one.

Chat with the people you came with, have a good time. Don't ditch your friends - they're your friends after all, and you don't want to look like you came to pick someone up. Don't appear desperate. While you're on beer number 2, make a round of the room. If you see anyone else you know, say hi and talk. Make all your potential hook-ups notice you and your hot self. Let them hear you laugh. Someone once told me that they had a little thing they did with their friends - throw your head back and laugh a few times: everyone looks more attractive when they're smiling or laughing. It's true - I can't tell you how many more times I've been complemented on my smile before anything else.

So try this out, but don't overdo it. Then you'll look like you have a twitch or you're nervous. Go for beer number three. (Sidenote: I don't know what your tolerance for alcohol is, but you do. Be careful and don't get trashed right away. I'm using this beer count like I would for myself or someone who's tolerance is comparable to mine. I also recommend you stick to beer if you can stand it, since it's a lot easier to gauge the amount you drink to the level of drunkenness you achieve. While you might end up a puddle at the end of the night, you don't want to get there right away - that could be a disaster in a bunch of different ways. So watch yourself. The goal at the end of this part of the evening is to be feeling nice and warm, maybe slightly buzzed. But only slightly.) Drink good beer now, if you're in a bar or if it's available, but I recommend switching to piss-beer later - Bud Light, Miller Lite, Schlitz, Natural Light, and the like.

At beer number three (or the end of number two) you have finished your rounds and are back to the prime spot. Go dance a little bit, have a good time, and just look hot. You spent all that time getting ready, now show it off. People will have noticed you by now and you should be making some eye contact with the most interested folks out there. If it's not a dancing party, then go back to your spot at the bar or table or couch and hang. You have friends - make sure it's obvious that people like to hang out with you - it reduces the pressure later to take you home if the hook-up knows that you came with people and can go home with them and they're not stuck with you if they don't want to be. No pressure is the name of the game. One of the first questions I was asked on my most recent (and successful) hook-up was if I was there with friends. "Yes" is always the right answer to this question, and it should be an honest one.