Ally Responds

X-Sender: a-mcbeal@aol.com
Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 20:23:37 -0600
X-PH: V3.12@lulu
To: matt@pccmag.com
Subject:Ally McBeal Responds

Apr 24, 98 08:23:37 pm -0600

Dear Jerry Springer,

Thank you very much for your sweet letter. The offer is incredibly tempting. To find a man who is willing to put up with my dancing baby, underwater dreams, and my Pips has been very difficult. But you already know that, since you watch the show every week. It is incredibly refreshing to meet someone as honest as you. Most guys would never describe themselves as a "fat loser who watches too much TV" to a total stranger. Oh wait, I forgot, I'm not a stranger to you.

But, alas, I'm afraid I must decline. As you are no doubt aware, I just left a relationship with a very nice doctor. We had been going out for almost a month, if you count the weeks that Fox shows reruns. The Academy Awards and the NCAA Basketball Championship were responsible for elongating my relationship! He had the brains and looks of Salad Dressing Face and the tool of the snowboarder (probably), so I'm pretty broken up over losing him. He was really a wonderful guy. I had almost forgotten that my one true love and his wonderful, perfect, beautiful wife work for the same firm that I do.

Well, almost.

As for the invitation to slow dance, I have to say that I'm not really big on Springsteen. My musical tastes run towards 60's pop ("Tell Him" by the Exciters is my theme song, after all. Remember that scene when I was crossing the street?), and 80's new wave (mostly a nostalgia thing. Memories of middle school, when things were easier). Ever hear of Elvis Costello? He's my favorite. It's funny because I used to think that his song "Alison" was about me because that's my name. But because of the whole Billy and Georgia situation, it seems like I could be singing that song to Billy. I just think it's funny how life goes in circles like that.

However, you still sound like a really nice guy, and if circumstances were different, I would definitely take your offer into consideration. If you ever come to Boston, though, please visit the office and meet the gang, and we'll all go out for a drink after work. Maybe Vonda can sing something that we both like, and we'll have that slow dance.

And if you still want to date someone from the show, I'm sure Elaine will be available.

All the best,
Ally McBeal